My grandma went through the heartbreak of losing two kids when they were teens. That fear of losing another child haunted her and rubbed off on my mom early on. Mom was always on high alert, raising ten kids, never letting her guard down for a second. The stress and trauma from past generations showed up in our home as a need for control and dominance. Her anxiety became the driving force behind her need to keep a tight grip on where her kids were and what they were up to.
Like many of us, we've been wired to either be in control or be controlled, to survive or get swallowed up, to be a winner or a loser. This power struggle isn't just out there in the world—it's inside our heads too. The paradigm of power-over is the root of racism, ageism, sexism... When one part of us denies another part (like our mind thinking it's better than our body), it creates the same paradigm in our inner world, leading to exhaustion and a constant internal battle.